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A Short Story

It comes to you like a flash of lightening. When you are walking down the steep road and you are laughing and talking. Your left foot is paining a little bit. The fog has left a damp feel in your hair. Suddenly it happens. A memory appears out of the blue. Two people kissing in the woods -- one is shy & awkward, one is a passionate, giggling freak. There's no prize for guessing which one is you, silly girl. Or when you are sitting by the Christmas tree and having dinner. And the couple come to click their picture by the tree. You see yourself standing there instead of the unknown girl. And someone very familiar with ridiculously thin legs and a grave face holding the phone in your direction. You can see the imaginary you smiling and giving pose. You can actually picture the entire follow up conversation. You know it all. The name. The face. The voice. The familiar walking style. Or the favourite blue windcheater. You stop dead on the track. Or you stop eating. Life has gone ou…
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Into the Future

So on a Thursday morning I am home. Year end is nearing and I must use up my due casual leaves. I got up at 10 in the morning after a night-long session of vivid dreaming which left a very happy taste in my mouth. On my happy days (or less depressed days) I feel more active. So I have just finished washing a big pile of clothes and watching music and travel videos on youtube and suddenly some vision pops in my head. I am seeing myself ten years into the future. You may wonder. You may frown and say, ok I understand the midweek holiday part, I can try to understand the happy dreaming part, I definitely follow the washing part, and even I can stretch my mind till useless videos. But why the sudden time travel? BPD attack? Black part has awakened? Not really. But true, my mind does work in the most mysterious ways. So I am sitting on my bed, with headphones on, Munbe Vaa playing on my laptop (the Masala Coffee rendition is lit af). And suddenly I see myself. A forty something hot as fuck …

Scorpio Moon

So I was sitting on a bench, observing the loitering crowd around me in the dying ray of sun. You cannot say I was in a bad or sad mood. I was perhaps feeling a little lost. (BPD, eh?) Suddenly I looked up and did a double take. This old tree was literally looming over my bench. For few seconds I was little shocked. Then I looked at it more closely. That is the best part about being alone or roaming about alone. You can stop and look at a dead tree or how light is reflecting through the cluster of fogs (About last night when I was climbing up from Bhutia Busty.). No one is around to pester you with their insufferable jokes or premature, desperate proposal or call you a mental patient certified by google. Yesterday I had also stopped at a bend to appreciate how magnificent the clouds were looking just on the top of the hills of Sikkim and Kalimpong. I was just standing and staring. What exactly goes through my ‘BPD-ed’ mind during those moments? It usually transcends the boundary of re…

Letting Go

“I am hurting so fucking much. I don’t feel normal.” “Ah honey, just let it go.
Exactly how many times I have heard this phrase in life till date? I don’t keep a count. At least a hundred times, perhaps? Well, even the new-age, feminist Disney princesses seem to take that advice these days. Let it go.
Well, what does it exactly mean though? What to let go of? How to let go? Do we really do that? People who give that advice like gifting a mass-produced greeting card on your birthday; do they really know what it means? Do they really mean what they are saying? Or is it just as easy as an advice as any store purchased card or a text template? Easy and hassle-free advice for a good natured but too busy friend and one of the best excuses for a coward. Yes, it is always too easy to cut loose and run from an issue by simply telling, “Let it go!”
You know what, I refuse to let go. I always have. Unless or until I have a solid reason.
Do I sound like a stupid (read emotional) person? Someone too m…

A #nofilter Day

I no longer edit my photos. Does it imply I am too good a photographer or that my camera is really good or just that I am way too lazy? I have no idea. It's just that Darjeeling weather these days does not need any fucking filter. Is there a better filter than Nature itself? I wonder.

Men or Murder

It’s been almost two months I moved to Darjeeling. I had thought I would turn into some coming-of-age, single, independent female blogger living in hill station and telling stories of her interesting life in quite Jamie Zeppa style. But you see man/woman proposes and the bastard Almighty disposes and then throw it back to your face to emphasise the humiliation. So I remained the same sad piece of little shit picking up melancholy everywhere; even in the ravishing beauty of The Kanchenjungha. Is sadness my unofficial, silent middle name? Perhaps. And especially when the universe chose that name for you, where the hell would you run and hide? So better face it and make sarcastic jokes about it. And when the burden of sadness feels too much to joke about, sit down and write some poetry out of them. Sad poetry is a big hit. So life sucks pretty much the same way. Only the temperature has dropped and elevation gone up. No! Don’t you dare give me advice that ah happiness comes from within e…

Ra's Children

Once upon a time the sky was a vast nothingness with no end and no beginning. Then almighty Ra decided to plough her field from east to west and said, "Let there be life!" And that's how the colours were born.

Photos taken on a field inspection day in Siliguri.

p.s. #nofilter #noedit, bitches.