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Showing posts from 2017

End and Beginning

It is 31st afternoon and I have just opened the word file. I have exactly nine hours and five minutes until I publish this post. Well it shouldn’t be taking more than three hours though; it’s only a year. Or is it? Should I sit and evaluate 2017 only? Or is it a big package deal of last four years? Astrologically speaking, it should be three years, not four. It was December, 2014 when Saturn, the god of Karma entered my sign Sagittarius. And it’s been a long, tiresome journey. 2015. 2016. 2017. Three years of struggles, despair, broken dreams, and broken promises. Nights were very long at times. There were times when I wanted to just shut my eyes and get it over with. But Saturn made sure I stayed wide awake and counted every second of clock ticking away until the sun came up. It was shit painful. And I will be carrying signs of it on my skin for the rest of my life. A cosmic reminder of the time when Karma himself paid me a visit. And 2017 was the year when I had my first Saturn retu…

Books I Read in 2017

It was one of my New Year resolutions for 2017 to read at least three books per month. Only two more days till another year gets added into the gigantic pile labeled ‘Past’ and it is safe to say that I have failed to keep this resolution this time. Well, what’s so new about that though, eh? I fail. I always fail. I fail to keep promises. I fail to keep people in my life. I fail to achieve many things which people of my age have accomplished long back. So it’s no surprise that I would fail to keep a resolution I had made to myself. Should I now start giving excuses? Why not? Let’s just say 2017 had an ecstatic first half and a very messy, turbulent and rather busy second half for me. Extreme happiness and extreme turbulence both have a way for me to go completely unproductive and this time it’s my reading habit that took the bullet on my behalf. It’s safe to say that dressing up and giving pose was far easier for me than actually sit and finish a book. But even amidst all this I someho…

Darjeeling Outfit Roundup. 2017

It's been little less than three months since I moved to Darjeeling. The climate has gone through a lot of changes since then. Temperature has been slowly dropping and the fog is coming and going. I have shopped quite a a lot of winter-wear, partly because it's a necessity and partly because, well, you know me. Here's a photo diary of my streetstyle journey of past two and a half months. I tried to keep it as chronologically correct as possible. Life has not been so easy there till now, mostly because of my fuckall personal issues and until a week ago I was still living like a nomad. So on most of the days I wouldn't care to change my purse or my boots. Hopefully from this new year onward I will be more inclined to fully utilising my wardrobe. Any other new year fashion resolution? Yes. Stick to 'less is more' motto. Dainty jewellery. Very little or no makeup. And a lots of mix n' match with the existing wardrobe instead of piling up crap.

Because It's Christmas

Let's screw the cynics for a day. Screw the sceptics. Screw the pagan vs Christian debate. Let us believe in magic for just one day. (I always do.) Let us believe that thousands of years ago three wise men followed the star into a stable in an obscure middle east village and knelt before a newborn who would die on cross to save us fucking miserable humans from purgatory. Let us all close our eyes and picture how the bells went off when the three magi laid their gifts at the tiny feet of the brand new human on this very day.
It's Christmas and on Christmas you say it out loud without any agenda whatsoever. Maybe just in case the wish granting Santa hears you and leaves the gift at your doorstep. On Christmas you say the truth anyway without any hope of reaching it at the destination. On Christmas you confess the shit out of the truth and just fucking say it. Because when you love someone and really miss them you just say it. Because it's Christmas.
I hope the universe fulfill…

'Tis the Season

Well, just a few feel-good pictures really -- photo diary of my last week before Christmas. Thankfully, I am not in a dark mood today. Touch fucking wood! Ho ho ho!

New Address

I was climbing uphill while dragging my giant trolley bag; the American Tourister backpack on my back trying to wrestle me down in favour of gravity. One porter was following me with packing boxes on her back. This was the third round. I was shifting to my new apartment. Yes, no more cooked food for me on time. No more packed lunch. No more coming back to my one room paying guest home after a whole day of roaming about with my ‘so many male friends’ and clicking ‘so many selfies’. I am literally on my own now. I was dragging my luggage while my lungs were screaming inside my chest; and bits and pieces of words were flashing inside my hypersensitive (allegedly BPD’ed) mind. How I had been compared with some fuckall spoilt woman who had chosen to be a housewife over a medical career (and how proud her family is of her ‘goodness’ and ‘sacrifice’) and how much better she was than me, the rebellious, petulant woman who allegedly uses feminism as an excuse to escape responsibilities. Now yo…


We girls too use cuss words while conversing among ourselves. And that too, pretty generously. Some of us are really smart ones, so we know how to improvise and play with a limited vocabulary. We too talk about sex and masturbation and pornography and sexual fantasies. We talk about men as if they are delicious sausage rolls with cheese filling (pun intended). We also talk about being fed up with our men and ditching them and going on all girls trip. We too talk about violence and politics and ambitions and hopes and lying and cheating and being absolutely ruthless at times. Why do people think that women are fragile flowers with pure souls that go to bed thinking about mushy romcoms and meatball recipe? We are neither innocent nor frail. We can be as bad and twisted as any man. We see blood coming out of our body every damn month and you think we would faint if the kitchen knife slipped by an inch slicing our soft skin? Being a mother does not make us noble. Being in love does not ma…

20 Times Tumblr Saved My Life

1. That place is full of other misunderstood, loner introverts.

2. 'I wrote a blog about you.'

3. We ALL have two sides within us. That makes us neither mentally sick nor evil. What matters which side we let ourselves surrender to.

4. This couldn't BE anymore accurate. *read in Chandler's voice*

5. Wear that bloody Captain America tshirt and believe that someday someone will find you and will be with you till the end of the line. Until then cling on to that fucking shield and kick ass.

6. This post led to an entire blog post. Need I say more?

7. Rebellious bad girl, anyone?

8. I wish I came up with this post. Like seriously.

9. A fucking moron would say this person has BPD.

10. I prefer poison, by the way. Just fyi.

11. Don't worry, I am so fucking used to it that I kinda believe this is my destiny.

12. Wet anger. Fuck you.

New Moon

A new moon is a chance to start afresh. A cosmic second chance. And this time it is happening in Sagittarius, the Jupiter child of all things happy and positive. Sagittarius thinks big, just like his ruling planet, the god of feast and expansion. The Centaur may have his feet on the ground but his eyes are always in the sky. Sometimes he stumbles and falls into the potholes of earthy reality. Life often disappoints him; people often hurt his naive, childlike spirit. But he always gets back up and aims his arrow steady at his new quest. Hope truly does stay alive for the half human half horse fellow. He is a mythical creature. His half full cup of life is always filled with dreams of something far away, the big picture. Too much of reality upsets him; but he knows there is always more to life beyond the mundane and routine. So dream big. Aim high. Fill up the void with new hope. Anything is possible now. The Jupiter god is sending his favourite child Centaur the Santa Claus this Christ…